MAIN BHI COCKROACH
devazad.com | UNEMPLOYED SINCE: ____
CHRONICALLY ONLINE | CAFFEINATED | SURVIVING
▼ PRESS ↓ TO CONTINUE ▼
GUILTY OF EXISTING
- Charge #1 – Unsanctioned Skill Acquisition
Learned Unity, C#, game development, and full‑stack web dev entirely from YouTube, documentation, and existential panic. Shipped 7+ games to the Play Store without a degree certificate, a placement cell, or anyone's permission. This constitutes a direct bypass of the ATS-friendly education filter and undermines the sacred principle that only a classroom can produce competence. - Charge #2 – Temporal Engineering Fraud
Mastered Data Structures & Algorithms, built real projects, cleared technical rounds — only to be informed that the company requires "5 years of experience in a framework that was released 2 years ago." Demonstrated a criminal disregard for the linear flow of time and the logic of HR keywords. - Charge #3 – Anti‑National Curiosity
Used the Right to Information Act to ask where public money vanishes. Refused to accept that roads unbuilt, exams leaked, and bridges collapsed are classified matters best left to WhatsApp forwards and primetime debates. The CJI himself flagged "RTI activists" — the accused remains unrepentant. - Charge #4 – Unlicensed Opinion Dissemination
Shared a political opinion on a public platform without a verified blue tick, a net worth of ₹10 crore, or an invitation from a TV studio. Constitutes 'unsanctioned democracy' and threatens the monopoly of verified outrage. - Charge #5 – Ingratitude Towards Generosity
Refused a prestigious unpaid internship at a startup that offered "unlimited chai, no salary, and the opportunity to be part of a family that fires you before Diwali." Rejected the foundational principle that exposure is a substitute for rent and that passion should pay the bills. - Charge #6 – Existential Trespassing
Committed the grave and continuing offense of being alive, skilled, and available in a job market that was designed to produce consumers, not employable citizens. Despite shipping products, surviving isolation, and outlasting countless rejection emails, the accused still expects a livelihood. The system finds this unreasonable.
WHO
AM I
I am devazad. A cockroach. Not metaphorically — no, wait, yes, metaphorically, but proudly.
I am the product of a system that told me education would lead to opportunity, and then moved the goalposts three times while I wasn't looking. I am a person with skills, opinions, too many browser tabs open, and precisely ₹0 in funding from the government.
I build things. I write things. I think too much and sleep too little. I am constitutionally entitled to exist and I intend to exercise that right aggressively — with chai.
MY SKILLSET
I don't have a VC. I don't have a Series A. I have chai, a laptop,
and the revolutionary energy of someone with nothing to lose.
1 chai = 1 hour of staying caffeinated enough to keep existing.